Jamie’s Journey

Pregnancy is beautiful and scary, but those two feelings can coexist. I didn’t know motherhood would make me a warrior, and I’m really proud and excited for the version of myself that’s going to come into this world once my son Wesley is born.

My husband, Jordan, and I are expecting a son in February 2023, and I’m planning to deliver at Our Lady of Lourdes Women’s & Children’s Hospital.

First Trimester Hiccups & Triumphs

Being pregnant again for the fourth time, with no living children here on earth with us, was a big shock to us. We weren’t trying to conceive, but God has a funny way of giving you exactly what you need when you need it.

From the moment the second line turned pink, we were over the moon! Every second from four to six weeks was the highest of highs! I was craving seafood and any carbs I could get my hands on. It was the perfect time to be in Key West, where we were to mark Father’s Day! Every day felt like living inside of a miracle. We nicknamed our growing baby “Little Bean” and talked endlessly about our hopes and dreams for this little one.

When we got home from our vacation, we hit a road bump. We went in for our first ultrasound, only to find out that we were way too early to see anything. It put us back for a second, but we trusted the process and took it day by day for two weeks until we went back for our second ultrasound at seven weeks.

I had some bleeding at six weeks, and it brought up a lot of memories from my past losing our other children. That was a hard day, but we both survived, and moved forward in confidence that whatever is meant to be will be. We put all our faith in God and surrendered to his will.

On July 11, 2022, at seven weeks two days, we heard Little Bean’s heart beat for the first time! It measured at 161 beats per minute. It greatest sound to ever exist in the planet. As a mom and dad to three angels, everything fell into place and we moved happily through the next weeks. Everything felt like we were living the destiny we were meant for, and we celebrated every single day.

Gender and Name Reveal

On September 3, we announced to our closest friends and family that we were expecting our second son! We named him Wesley Ernest.

Wesley is a family name on Jordan’s side, and Ernest is a family name on my side. We didn’t know until after the announcement that there was actually another Wesley Ernest in Jordan’s family lineage, Jordan’s great-great grandfather. We were gifted the first Wesley Ernest’s original social security card from the 1930s when the Social Security Administration was formed. So cool and we didn’t even know.

Our families were really rooting for a girl, like really really rooting for a girl. I for sure thought it was a girl too because my two pregnancies were so polar opposite from each other. I was wrong, and I’m so excited it’s a boy. I get a second chance at being a boy mom.

I’ve always wanted a son, and now we have a real shot a bringing a son home. We received all of our genetic testing back, and Wesley cleared every test possible. We were especially concerned with trisomy 21, Down Syndrome, as Oaklee was born with the condition. Oaklee later passed from a combination of complications following a car accident coupled with exacerbated issues from having Down Syndrome. Together both of those things prevented him from being here on earth with us.

Wesley’s screening to rule out Down Syndrome was extremely important to us. Wesley has the perfect number of chromosomes and is genetically sound with zero indications anything would be abnormal.

Exceptional Care

The support I’ve received from Our Lady of Lourdes Women’s & Children’s Hospital can’t be put into a nice, neat little sentence. It started with my doctor, Mario Cardinale, MD, who met me emotionally and physically exactly where I was.

Dr. Cardinale delivered Oaklee and walked us through the hardest part of our lives. To come full circle with someone who cares so much about me, my mental health and physical well-being — you just can’t put a price tag on healthcare like that. It’s not healthcare, that’s family.

Anatomy Scan & Starting High Risk

We met with Maternal-Fetal Medicine for the first time on September 29, 2022. We were so nervous because Sheryl Rodts-Palenik MD, is like Nancy Drew and investigates everything to a T before she tell you her opinion on how the baby is doing. She’s amazing at what she does, but knowing they could find something had us on edge.

I’ll never forget she pulled in a nursing student to show off how beautiful Wesley’s heart is. She said for 18 weeks this heart is textbook perfect. I felt the weight lift off my chest the second the good news passed through my ears. “Textbook perfect”—the words every mama and daddy wants to hear passed from  our doctors lips. What a glorious day it was. 

Wesley passed every measurement, monitoring, poking and prodding they did on him. “He’s gorgeous,” she said. “Just gorgeous!” Then the next words out of her mouth were, he’s going to be a big boy too. Then showed us his 3D photo for the first time. It was like a movie. There he was, our son. After I took in the moment, I looked at Jordan, then looked at the screen. Well ladies and gentlemen, I’m carrying my husband’s twin. 

We did our second anatomy scan at 22 weeks at Dr. Cardinale’s office on October 24, 2022. Wesley was a ham the whole time just kicking and moving around a bunch. He passed his second anatomy scan, and we just melted with joy. 

Symptoms by Trimester

Honestly I didn’t have a lot of symptoms in the first trimester. I had major food aversions to raw meat and eggs and major hormonal breakouts. I had moderate tiredness. I had very mild nausea. That was it! I got out lucky! 

By the start of my second trimester, the cravings started: potato salad, ice cream, and pickles. They continued throughout the second trimester, and I was still averse to eating meat. Major skin break outs continued on my face and back, and I had hip and round ligament pain. My hair became insanely thick, and really my hair has never looked better.

Baby was kicking up a little storm. I felt very maternal and excited. I was very emotional and tired beyond belief. The exhaustion fully hit, but it is the most beautiful ride of my life! I really wanted time to slow down. Into the start of the third trimester, my hips were still super painful, but it moved to my back too because baby boy is heavy. My round ligaments were stretching big time with his size, and my abs separated for sure. Even with the physical symptoms, it’s still the most beautiful ride of my life! I am just ready for what today brings and living everyday very grateful to just be here pregnant with second love of my life.

Oregon Trip for Oaklee’s First Heavenly Birthday

I understand a little of what it is like to be a mom of two, but just differently. In my heart I have two sons. One is growing strong within me and the other is being raised by Jesus on God’s playground. It is a different kind of mothering two babies, but kind of the same too. Many of my mom friends say that you feel our heart grow to fit the love of that second baby, and I completely understand that now.

Bringing Jordan’s family to Oaklee’s final resting place in our happy place in Oregon on the Lyle sandbar while pregnant with Wesley is a moment in my life I will never forget. For the first time ever, it felt like we were all together again here on this earth. It was hard to leave the sandbar that day. As the tide was rolling in that afternoon, we felt the tides changing in our hearts. It was time to put our primary focus all on Wesley and let Oaklee rest in the eternal peace he deserves.

When we left that day, something changed in me. I stopped just being Oaklee’s mom, and a mother to angels, and primarily became just Wesley’s mom. My mindset shifted and so did my heart. It felt right, and like it was meant to happen when it did, where it did. God’s hand guided that day and those feelings.

After October 18, 2022, which was Oaklee’s birthday, the rest of the trip was about Wesley, and bringing him around to all the places we love so much up in the Pacific Northwest. I was craving meat pies like no other, and there is a place in White Salmon that has a gluten free bakery. I think I ate six meat pies that day! My heart was so happy.

We spent time with friends and talked all about this next chapter for us, our hopes and dreams for Wesley, and our game plan to get him here on earth. It was an amazing trip!

Caring for My Mental and Physical Health

I wish I moved more than I do, although I stand up all day for work as a stylist so I make sure to get steps in during the day. I drink water and do a lot of meditation. When I’ve had an overly stressful day and haven’t been able to get out of my head, I’ll put my phone down and go for a walk.

Looking Forward to Delivery

I’ve gained unconditional love through my pregnancy journey, the kind of love only your children can bring you, the joy of their futures, knowing them as whole people and feeling their little personality inside your body. I can’t wait for Wesley to be here with us mind, body and spirit.

Jamie’s Favorite Posts

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